Welcome to the NJ Pianist Arnie Abrams Blog! I am opening this new blog and dedicating it to anyone who enjoys live music for weddings and other events, rather than the pre-recorded stuff, and would like to post a topic or has a question that is related to live piano music, live instrumental music, or live vocal music.
Topics can include any of the items with which I am familiar. Those include live piano music, live wedding music, ceremony music, cocktail hour music, portable musical equipment, outdoor weddings, indoor weddings, traditional vs. nontraditional weddings, civil union ceremonies, bridal or baby showers, music for parties and sing alongs, holiday parties, or other events and topics that involve live piano music.
I have been a professional pianist for over 20 years performing at hundreds of different venues. If I can’t answer a question, I’ll either direct you to a person who can, or I’ll find out the answer and get back to you.
I’m looking forward to your questions and comments. And thanks again for stopping by.
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Choosing your wedding ceremony music can be a fun experience. Wedding season is here in the great Garden State and, as I normally experience at this time of the year, I am getting lots of calls lately from brides about how to choose the music for their wedding ceremony.
Selecting your wedding music is obviously SO important because the music is what you and your guests will remember for a long, long time after the big day.
Here are a few tips on choosing your wedding ceremony music:
When thinking about songs for your wedding ceremony, you just want to make sure you choose music that is appropriate, and use songs that you would not mind listening to in 20 or 30 years. This is especially true if you intend to record your music selections for your guests as a special keepsake wedding favor, which is something unique that I offer for my clients.
Songs that are appropriate are the ones that are suitable in terms of the music AND their lyrics. For instance, there are many songs that have beautiful melodies. But if the lyrics to those songs involve a guy losing his girl to some other guy, or a girl who falls in love with her guy’s best friend, you’ll want to avoid those at all cost. I know this sounds like common sense, and it is to a great extent, but I run into this issue quite often. Often enough to bring up.
Keep in mind that many of the songs you may choose for your wedding can be interchangeable with different portions of your wedding ceremony. For instance, some songs can be commonly appropriate for the Prelude (10-20-minutes prior to the ceremony while your guests are being seated) as well as the Interlude (any portion of the General Ceremony).
Some tunes can be done for the Processional (segment that heralds the beginning of the ceremony), as well as the Interlude, and the Recessional (portion that completes the ceremony). But also remember that some songs are specifically designed for certain parts of the ceremony as well.
Common sense plays a big part here, and you should enjoy choosing the songs that you and your fiance really desire for your wedding music. After all, it’s your day and no one else’s.
Talking to an experienced music professional about choosing your wedding music is always a great idea. Pick his or her brain for music recommendations and you’ll always be the winner. People call me or email me on a daily basis to bounce ideas off of me. I even have a wedding music guide available.
Taking care of your wedding ceremony music choices early in the process will give you one less thing to worry about for the big day!
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More and more brides are asking me if I can play their favorite song for their wedding ceremony processional, or for the wedding party’s processional, or even for the recessional portion, instead of the typical wedding music that their parents had for their wedding.
I say ABSOLUTELY! It is your day and you should be able to have the music that you love, which may not be the traditional music that your parents loved.
To assist couples with a couple’s music selections, I compiled “Arnie’s Wedding Ceremony Music Guide“. It consists of a great many songs that would be appropriate for most any wedding ceremony. Traditional AND nontraditional. For a partial list of songs, check out Arnie’s Song List.
You know, those classic songs that everybody loves. Like “All I Ask Of You“, from Phantom of the Opera, and “Endless Love“, by Lionel Richie, and the theme from “Ice Castles“. The ones that are timeless.
And I painstakingly went through the lyrics from each of those songs, just to make sure that they didn’t describe the girl who left her guy for some other dude, or visa versa. (By the way, my wedding music guide is available free just for the asking - just send me an email or call me at 732-995-1082).
But sometimes you have a song in mind that is not so popular, and you and your fiance REALLY love it. It’s YOUR song and nobody else’s. Since I play by ear (I do read music, but no sheet music is needed), I can learn it after just listening to it.
So don’t feel that you absolutely need to have the traditional wedding music if you want to make your ceremony more personal and memorable.
Your favorite songs can frame one of the most important days of your life!
Best,
Arnie
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Wedding Ceremony Music
Your wedding ceremony music plays a key role when organizing the details for your wedding day. The wedding ceremony music is so very important because, prior to your entering that wonderful place to be joined in matrimony, the music simply frames the ceremony, and provides the backdrop for the next 30-45 minutes. Giving some thought to the live music prior to exchanging your vows can add a unique excitement and charm to the entire process, and based on my 20+ years in the wedding business, will be extremely rewarding.

Religious Wedding Ceremony Music
If you are going with a religious wedding ceremony, selecting the wedding music can be especially challenging since the church usually has standards regarding your choices. For example, there may be a vocalist or even a choral group that will be singing the hymns prior to your processional. As the performing musician, at the couple’s request, I often interface with the church music directors, ministers, priests, rabbis, cantors, and other officiants, to “clear” the music selections with them.
However, if you don’t want to or need to stick with traditional or religious guidelines, you can choose your wedding music by talking to the officiant, music director, or a professional musician who has the required experience in performing for ceremonies. The key is to make sure that the music you select is appropriate and that it will be suitable to the tone of the service that will be conducted.
Civil Wedding Ceremony Music
If you and your fiancé decide to have a civil wedding ceremony like an outdoor garden wedding or one at your reception venue, there are a wide range of musical styles for your wedding music. You can select romantic music, conservative jazz, mild R & B, modern love themes, traditional folk tunes, and other romantic kinds of music that may possibly match your style. Aside from this, you can also hire live musicians to perform during the ceremony and not just be limited to a choral group and church organist.
Wedding ceremony music is integral to the overall character of your ceremony. That is why you really have to take some time in deciding which music to select. Your wedding ceremony, whether it is religious or civil, will be much more memorable if the wedding ceremony music is chosen by you rather than for you.
I always recommend that brides talk to a professional to bounce around ideas about their wedding ceremony music.
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I often receive questions about the wedding ceremony format and the music during the different portions of the ceremony. Ceremony music can be used for the Prelude, Processional, Bridal March, Interlude, Recessional, and Postlude. The following is a general breakdown of the different portions of the typical wedding ceremony.

Prelude:
Music is performed during this portion of the ceremony as people walk in the ceremony area, whether it is a church, temple, outdoor garden or other location. Usually, this is soft background music, and popular instruments are the piano or guitar. The music should have the effect of setting the dramatic scene so that your guests know that the ceremony is about to begin.
General Processional:
Music as the bridal party begins the walk down the aisle.
Bridal Processional:
As I experience so much these days, it has become fairly common to do away with the traditional “bridal march” and instead play music that is more meaningful to the couple. e.g.” Groovy Kind of Love – Phil Collins”, “I’ll Stand By You – The Pretenders”, or hundreds of other appropriate wedding song selections. This is an in-depth topic that really deserves some additional thought. Your best bet is to talk to a seasoned wedding music professional who performs lots of ceremonies. He or she can give you ideas that have worked well, as well as discuss song selections that have not been successful for one reason or another.
Interlude:
Traditionally, music played just during or after the prayer or the lighting of the candle, the sand ceremony, or some other customary practice during the ceremony. Many times, a vocalist performs during this time, and can be a wonderfully dramatic portion of your ceremony.
Recessional:
Music is played as the newly married couple and the wedding party leave the ceremony area, whether it is a church, temple, or other venue. This is generally a very upbeat musical selection.
Postlude:
This is the exit music played after the wedding party has left the ceremony area, and when your guests begin leaving the ceremony area and proceed on their way to the cocktail or reception area. There are many song selections appropriate for this portion, and should be upbeat and happy giving the final musical finale on the wonderful journey you are now going to take with the love of your life.
Final Comments:
I typically suggest to couples that they should think about their wedding ceremony music as far in advance as possible so they can have a perfectly tailored wedding to their exact specification. Usually the officiant will go over the wedding ceremony and the music only a couple of weeks to a month before the wedding date, which does not leave a lot of time for the bride and groom.
It’s always better for you to be able to choose your music rather than to have someone else choose it for you. Be sure to talk with a professional musician who has significant experience in this area and you will always be the wiser.
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