Brides BEWARE, Publishers BE AWARE 2012-05-23

Angelica Permiakov, Estelle Iung, & Mina Kim, Guest Authors

Counterfeiting and piracy throughout the web is an epidemic that has reached the bridal market. Women looking for a good bargain and inexpensive wedding dresses are being deceived by counterfeit sites. These sites use stolen designer images and false descriptions to entice women to purchase low quality, imitation wedding dresses.

“This is the best day of my life!” is what every bride wants to be able to say, dressed up in the perfect dress on her wedding day. However, such a scene could never be possible if the bride buys a counterfeit dress online. In fact, as soon as she receives the counterfeit gown, she is overwhelmed with disappointment.

The rise of counterfeit wedding dress manufacturing in the bridal industry affects not only real designers who have invested their time and talent into building a respected reputation in the fashion industry, but also the brides themselves. Providing information and bringing awareness to this counterfeit phenomenon is a responsible way to spare brides exasperation and frustration with their wedding gown.

The Internet: the best venue to meet counterfeit dress sellers

Counterfeit dressmakers find the Internet to be the perfect medium through which they can reach brides who are looking for less expensive dresses. Indeed, the counterfeiters make profit on the Internet with their ability to avoid USA laws regarding garment manufacturing and US Customs. They thrive on the web, where creating knockoffs is technically not against the law, but branding and identifying the knockoffs as originals with labels and tags is illegal.

Brides-to-be are the ultimate targets for the counterfeiters. They take advantage of brides who are very excited to find the dress of their dreams online for a vastly reduced price. The old adage rings true, “you get what you pay for.”

A fake good deal

As attractive as the price may be, counterfeit dresses, upon arrival, disappoint the bride and turn her sacred wedding dress fitting time into a nightmare.

In fact, most of these counterfeit dresses are not made of silk or other fine fabrics, which is why the perpetrators can market the gowns at unbelievable discounts. Sizing may not always be true, as designers have individual sizing charts for their dresses. Many brides, such as Rachel Ruffer, have been dismayed when they unpacked a cheaply-made imitation lacking the fine detailing of hand sewn beading, embroidery and lace.

Moreover, counterfeiters are developing strong strategies to encourage brides to buy their dresses. Counterfeiters often steal photos of designer gowns and claim they can reproduce the look of the dress. Counterfeit operations have loopholes to escape dissatisfied customers. They do not accept returns and give no address or contact information on their websites. That’s how the bride, who thinks she landed a deal, ends up spending more money to buy another dress.

Putting an end to copyists

Many key players of the bridal industry are rallying against the rise of the counterfeit market. Among them are the IBMA (International Bridal Manufacturing Association) and the UAMA (United Apparel Manufacturers Association). The IBMA and the UAMA are non-profit organizations created to solve significant industry concerns, including addressing the issues associated with counterfeit gown and accessory manufacturing. They are implementing global and centralized actions in counterfeit prevention for the designers, bloggers, and brides-to-be.

For your convenience, here is a list of sites that are known to sell dresses that are poorly imitated and counterfeit.

Copyright © 2012 – Angelica Permiakov, Estelle Iung, Mina Kim. BrideClick.net is the first and largest advertising network solely dedicated to the bridal and wedding market. Their focus has been on growing the network and attracting reputable wedding-related web publishers. The BrideClick network launched on July 17, 2008 and has already signed more than 300 wedding-related web publishers. This equates to an aggregate of more than 3.4 million unique visitors each month. Visit their Blog at http://BrideClick.net/blog/ and their Website.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

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Where the Tradition of Tossing the Bridal Bouquet Began 2012-05-19

In one of the final scenes of “Clueless” starring Alicia Silverstone as Cher, she and her friends go up to catch the bouquet at her teacher’s wedding. The bride throws the bouquet with her back turned and the ladies scramble to be the one to catch it ending up on the ground, with Cher coming out the victor.

“Now, now, girls. Don’t fight!

The tossing of the bouquet is an important and fun wedding tradition, especially for all the single women at a wedding. However, compared to some fights over the bouquet I’ve witnessed, that scene can be considered quite tame. Besides the superstitious belief that the lady who catches the bouquet will be the next to wed, have you ever wondered why catching the bouquet is such a big deal, or why the bride even bothers to throw it in the first place? Whether you believe this or not, it is a great way of entertaining guests and the girl who catches the bouquet will also have a souvenir of the wedding to take home.

Apparently, in medieval Europe, (around the 14th century) a bride’s dress was considered good luck for other women and a type of fertility charm. The wedding dress was considered such good luck that single women chased the bride and actually ripped off pieces of her dress to bring them good luck (aka a husband). To prevent guests from ripping the wedding dress, brides began throwing other objects as a distraction, with the bouquet becoming the most traditionally thrown object.

The wedding bouquet is particularly suited to this use, as flowers symbolize fertility, and as perishable items, they are not something the bride would mind pried from her fingers (at least they didn’t grab the ring and run!) The bouquet was also a safer item to toss than the garter, as unruly and impatient wedding guests were sometimes known to try to take the garter from the bride while she was still wearing it. (We promise we’re not making this up).

Thankfully the tradition of throwing the bouquet has become more of a fun wedding activity rather than an expected event, although there are a few overzealous women who may knock the bride down to get the bouquet. Some brides don’t even throw a bouquet anymore, deciding instead to give her flowers to her mother to keep, or divide the bouquet among her bridal party. Other brides have been known to have an extra bouquet to throw instead of the one she carried during the ceremony. However if you’re bent on honoring wedding traditions, make sure you throw your bouquet from a safe or guarded position (We suggest behind a makeshift wall of groomsmen!)

Photo Credits: Top left – Wink Photography, Lower right – Kelly Vasami Photography

Copyright © 2012 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s “romantic” Wedding Website. Larry James is an award winning, non-denominational wedding officiant and performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere! Every wedding ceremony is customized to your complete satisfaction. Call to check availability: 480-998-9411 or Cell: 480-205-3694. Pre-maritial relationship coaching is available and not required. You will find more than 470 pages of Wedding ideas, tips (90 tips and growing), ceremonies, and more at: http://www.celebrateintimateweddings.com. Something NEW about weddings is posted every 4th day on this Wedding BLOG. Check Larry’s availability.

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Name Change Checklist for the Bride 2012-05-15

Will you be changing your name once you are married? This is not just a question for the bride-to-be. Modern couples are hyphenating, adjoining their surnames together (keeping the maiden name as a middle name) and even creating entirely new last names. No matter what your choice, here is a reminder list of businesses, government agencies and financial institutions who may want to know about your new name.

Changing the Brides last name after marriage is considered the socially acceptable thing to do and most Brides do however, this is always your choice. Some women choose to keep their maiden name for professional reasons, some feel as though by changing their name they’re losing a part of their identity, while for others, the decision relies heavily on family and traditions.

Often couples in many Spanish speaking countries give their children both their father’s last name and their mother’s maiden name to preserve the heritage of both families. When marrying, a woman has the option of keeping all her names and adding her husband’s last name or dropping her mother’s maiden name.

Many brides are curious about what happens to their credit when they change their name. Do they lose their credit history and start over with a new name? Do they need to notify the main credit bureaus of their name-change? No. When you change your name you do not need to notify the three U.S. credit bureaus: TransUnion, Equifax, and Experion. When you update your name with all of your creditors (banks, credit cards, etc.) these bureaus will add your new name to your account and keep your maiden name as well. This way you keep your established credit and build credit with your married name.

When you update your name with all of your creditors (see list below) the bureaus will add your new name to your account and keep your maiden name as well. This way you keep your established credit and build credit with your married name.

NOTE: Some places (including state and U.S. government offices) may require you to show a certified copy (see Larry’s Note #1 below) of your marriage license before they will legally change your name. You usually get this from the Clerk of the Court where the marriage license was recorded. Certified marriage certificates will have a raised state and/or county seal on them. The seal ensures that the certificate is a legitimate copy of the original marriage certificate. If your document does not have a seal, it will not be accepted as a certified copy.

If you are changing your name you may be concerned that your maiden name is printed on your certified marriage certificate or that you signed the certificate with your maiden signature. Not to worry! As long as your name and your husband’s name are listed on the certificate you can use it as legal proof of marriage for name change purposes. The name you are changing to does not need to be listed on the certified marriage certificate.

Larry James always makes a copy (for his file) of the part of the license that he sends to the Court Clerk just before he places in in the envelope and it is usually sent on the first business day after the wedding. Arizona law requires that it be sent by the Officiant/Minister who performed the wedding ceremony within 10 days.

• Social Security card – Click here to download a Social Security form to make a name change. It takes about 10 days or more for IRS records to be updated after the Social Security Administration effects your name change. You are required to show or send a certified copy of your marriage license to Social Security.

• For directions to the North Phoenix Social Security Card Center in the Greater Phoenix area, click here.

• Passport – The State Department does require a certified copy of your marriage license to change your name. More info. Click here for more Passport info.

• Driver’s license – Most state Department of Motor Vehicles (DVDs) require a certified copy of your marriage license to change your name. More info.

Note: Some of the links below are intended especially for someone living in Arizona.

• Car registration and title – More info
• Rental agreement for your house or apartment
• Telephone company – More info
• Water company – More info
• Electric company – More info
• Household security system and alarm company
• Credit cards – More info
• All bank checking and savings accounts – More info. Not all banks require a certified copy of your marriage license.
• Mutual funds, stocks and bonds
• Insurance policies – You may want to change the beneficiary.
• Deeds
• Legal Contracts
• Last will and testament – Don’t have one? Get one! You may want to change the beneficiary to your spouse at the same time.
• Voter Registration – More info
• Post Office “Change of Name Form” – More info
• Employee ID card
• School ID card
• School Alumni Association
• Sorority or Fraternity organizations
• Library card
• Discount, courtesy, and frequent-flyer cards
• Health club membership
• Video rental card
• Business cards
• Employee Records for your paycheck
• Magazine subscriptions
• Doctor’s offices & Medical Organizations – Medical plan, Dentist, etc.
• Address labels
• Online registrations for eZINES, etc.
• Internal Revenue Service – More info
• Are you a Notary Public? Don’t forget to notify the state or risk losing your commission.

Shortcut LINK to a Sample “Notice of Name Change Letter.”

If you live in Arizona, click here for a summary of additional questions you may have about changing your name.

A search on Google will bring up numerous Websites where you can purchase “Name Change Kits,” however most Brides find that the information and the links listed on this page can accomplish the same thing.

Larry’s Notes: #1 – It is recommended that you also purchased one or more “Certified” copies of the marriage license (about $26.00 each in Arizona) to be sent to you after the license is filed by the Officiant with the Clerk of the Court. Some agencies require it but do no send it back so, ordering several “Certified” copies is recommend. If you order 2 or 3 certified marriage certificates you can begin to file multiple forms simultaneously and not have to wait for one to be returned before you file the next request to change your name. Click here for more info about obtaining your Marriage License in Arizona.

#2 – Do not make your honeymoon reservations in your married name especially if you are leaving within a few days of the wedding. It often takes 4 to 6 weeks or more to receive your “Certified” copies.

Copyright © 2012 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s “romantic” Wedding Website. Larry James is an award winning, non-denominational wedding officiant and performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere! Every wedding ceremony is customized to your complete satisfaction. Call to check availability: 480-998-9411 or Cell: 480-205-3694. Pre-maritial relationship coaching is available and not required. You will find more than 470 pages of Wedding ideas, tips (90 tips and growing), ceremonies, and more at: http://www.celebrateintimateweddings.com. Something NEW about weddings is posted every 4th day on this Wedding BLOG. Check Larry’s availability.

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
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So… What’s the Secret to a Happy Marriage? 2012-05-11

Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT, Guest Author

Nothing is perfect and marriages aren’t either. The reality is that conflict happens and in fact, it is healthier to successfully navigate through challenges than to stuff your feelings. This behavior has a tendency to become resentment, a toxic force if left unchecked. How do couples successfully navigate through conflict and keep it manageable while others do damage to each other? John Gottman, PhD, refers to successful repair attempts as the “happy couple’s secret weapon.”

The beginning stages of conflict are wrought with possible paths to take, some helpful and some not. I imagine there have been a few times in your life when you’ve gotten irritated around a particularly tense subject with your spouse. You likely either successfully or unsuccessfully diffused what might have been a big argument.

There are a few types of repair attempts; the ones that happen along the way that help mitigate a higher level of conflict (low level) and the ones that are needed when real emotional damage has been done to the other (high level).

One of the biggest problems I see coming up between couples in my therapy practice is unresolved anger or sadness around things the other did or said which in worse case scenarios can stretch into years of simmering discontent creating an emotional gap or disconnection between them. The irony is that much of these resentment markers might never had existed had repair attempts been made at the time.

7 ways to make a repair attempt in the moment to keep from escalation: (low level)

1. Use humor

2. Ask your partner what they need from you right now

3. Validate their emotions

4. Apologize in the moment

5. Touch them gently

6. Verbally remind both of you that you’re on the same team

7. Empathize with them. “I get you.”

7 ways to make a repair attempts when real emotional damage has been done: (high level)

1. Take responsibility for your behavior

2. Verbally apologize with sincerity

3. Give your partner a hand-written, personalized card

4. Tell them you love them and didn’t mean to hurt them

5. Ask them what they need from you to help salve the wound

6. Share your ideas around how you got triggered and how you plan to work on avoiding it happening again

7. Tell your partner why they are worth it and what they mean to you

The best way to avoid problems in the future is to nip problematic situations in the bud – in the moment. However, often times this is easier said than done. If you miss the window of opportunity and things get heated, remember that you can still make a repair attempt after the fact.

Do it for your spouse – and for the marriage.

You can find more tips and tools for creating a better relationship including how to assess the emotional safety in your own, practice active listening and strengthen the over-all foundation in your marriage with The Marriage Refresher Course Workbook for Couples.

BONUS Article: Working Together Helps Get Your Own Needs Met
Put the “Fun” in Relationship Fundamentals!
Need Some Romantic Ideas?

Copyright © 2012 – Lisa Brookes Kift. Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT is the creator of The Toolbox at LisaKiftTherapy.com with tools for marriage, relationship and emotional health. A frequent consultant for the media, she has appeared in numerous publications and online news sources including CNN.com, HuffingtonPost.com and Martha Stewart Weddings Magazine. Learn more about Lisa’s private practice working with individuals and couples in Marin County, CA at MarinTherapyandCounseling.com.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles, “LoveNotes” and wedding tips listed in this Wedding BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com/
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Honeymoon at Sandals Emerald Bay – All inclusive Bahamas Resort 2012-05-09

Greeting from the Bahamas!

I am currently at Sandals Emerald Bay, Bahamas for a special tour of the resort with other ABC (Association of Bridal Consultants) wedding consultants and vendors. I’ve been certified as a Sandals Travel Specialist and am on a special tour of this resort. I will be offering specials for my wedding clients and friends when I return on May 11, 2012.

Watch a 10-minute video of Sandals Emerald Bay!

Copyright © 2012 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s “romantic” Wedding Website. Larry James is an award winning, non-denominational wedding officiant and performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere! Every wedding ceremony is customized to your complete satisfaction. Call to check availability: 480-998-9411 or Cell: 480-205-3694. Pre-maritial relationship coaching is available and not required. You will find more than 470 pages of Wedding ideas, tips (90 tips and growing), ceremonies, and more at: http://www.celebrateintimateweddings.com. Something NEW about weddings is posted every 4th day on this Wedding BLOG. Check Larry’s availability.

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com/
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Authors & Speakers” BLOG at: http://AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.wordpress.com