Having a Wonderful Time; Wish You Were Here! 2012-02-03

And they will be if you send your guests a “save the date” card before the invitations go out. This is a great idea on many different levels.   If your wedding is on a holiday weekend, or at destination location, you can help them plan their mini vacation and put reservations in place for their hotels.   It can also give you an early heads up on just who can come and who absolutely cannot, so you  may be able to add some guests you thought you might not be able to accomodate.

It can set the tone of the wedding, depending on the type of stationary you decide to use; I got a wonderful antique postcard from one of my brides who is in a vacation spot in upstate New York.  It reminded me how much fun I’m going to have with this couple, who have both an appreciation of historic sites and a real solid sense of humor.  You can design your own at my favorite company, MOO!, who prints all kinds of neat stuff for very little $$$

Wedding Ceremony Recessional? Cross those swords! 2012-02-04

or anything else that is meaningful to you! You don’t have to recess from your ceremony through a tunnel of crossed swords; you can have an archway of anything that is meaningful to you! Your “sword bearers” need to be seated on the aisle, and they need to know the last words of your ceremony so they can rise and cross implements!

Let’s see; could be tennis rackets, golf clubs, chefs’ knives, whisks, slide rules, rakes…….I can hear ya thinking!!!

New Jersey; A Great Place to Elope! Maybe! 2012-02-02

New Jersey has always been a great state to elope to, but the legislature may make this easier today!  My friend and colleague Marilyn Lockwood, an officiant in south Jersey wrote about this in her blog today.  It is time for New Jersey to get with the program, and let people elope to New Jersey without a waiting period!

NJ’s Pending Marriage Proposal

Soon, NJ may be one of 28 states to no longer require a 3 day waiting period after applying for a marriage or civil union license.

This proposition by democrats Sen. Nicholas Scutari of Union County and Assemblyman Lou Greenwald of Camden is great news for spontaneous couples looking to tie the knot along the Jersey coast. It also gives Atlantic City, in particular, a bit more of an edge in luring couples who might otherwise have gone to Vegas.

Anyone familiar with Atlantic City’s rich history knows that this measure is in keeping with Atlantic City’s appeal as a fun and anything goes city. And it will also benefit those couples who get bitten by the love bug while visiting one of the countless other coastal communities that NJ has to offer.

This will undoubtedly appeal to couples who prefer spontaneity and like being able to say, “Today’s the day,” and really be able to get the job done without hassle.

Obviously, the passing of this law pleases me. I love weddings and beachfront weddings hold a special place in my heart because they are usually very special to the couples who identify with the ocean as a sacred location. Churches and Temples traditionally played the role in housing wedding ceremonies, but with more and more secular couples, and couples of mixed faith looking for neutral territory, couples are identifying locations of natural beauty as their new sacred ground. NJ’s scenic coastal towns offer a perfect backdrop for couples saying their “I do’s” in a natural setting that for many of them, invokes a sense that they are at home, in a peaceful and naturally beautiful setting.

There is also a provision of a thirty day, no questions asked, annulment period which accompanies this proposal, just in case some couples get too swept up and get in over their heads. I don’t think is a bad thing for anyone. You can live with someone for years, but it is not the same as being married, I don’t care what anyone says. Being legally and morally bound to another human being is truly only something you can understand when you fully realize you’ve made that commitment to them. A built in grace period following any marriage or civil union is a merciful asset. I’m hoping and would be very interested to see, if over the long haul, that this thirty day grace period doesn’t help reduce the number of divorces of couples who invest years in a situation that they knew was a mistake even after only a few days.

This opinion may come as a surprise since I am a wedding minister. Obviously, I want all my couples to live happily ever after. But I think psychologically, that this thirty day period gives a sense of ease to couples and alleviates the initial stress of the first few weeks of marriage, until they can settle into their forever reality of devotion to one another.

Invite Richard Simmons to your Wedding! 2012-01-17

You know him; you love him; I admire him.  There is probably no one in the health and fitness field that is more inspiring and positive than Richard Simmons.  And “positive” is the key word here; his legions of followers love his upbeat and caring nature, always cheerful, always letting us know that we CAN meet our goals, weight wise and life wise. He doesn’t need to beat you, yell at you, belittle you or embarrass you into being fit; he does it with genuine love and concern.

I had the privilege of meeting Richard  many years ago at a catering convention in Nashville.  Each morning, he  lead a giant group of stressed out, party weary caterers and event planners in  a morning stretch, before we went on our way to discuss appetizers and aisle runners.  And he was great;  if Richard can’t get you moving with a smile on your face, no one can.

According to a recent poll in one of those bride mags, almost 85% of you are adding some kind of fitness regimen to your wedding plans. (And the bonus? Working out will not only make you LOOK better, but it will make you FEEL better; stress relief is key!)  Why don’t you invite Richard to your wedding?  You’ll feel better, you’ll dance the night away…..and he might just come! (So have some steamed veggies ready!)

But it’s Only 20 minutes! 2012-01-13

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While a decadent multi level wedding cake, a designer gown and gourmet cuisine may be on every couple’s wish list, the only service they really need is their officiant. But while every couple enjoys planning the reception and the honeymoon, often with budget breaking results, far fewer look forward to planning the ceremony. For many couples, it’s the necessary hurdle that makes the marriage possible. It seems boring, routine and….expensive.

“I don’t know why it cost so much, it’s only 20 minutes!” is a common comment when couples find that their officiant ‘s fee is more than they thought, even if they had no idea WHAT that would cost when they started to plan. The truth of the matter is, that like an iceberg, that “twenty minutes” of ceremony is just the smallest part of what really goes into an inspiring and memorable ceremony.

If you have decided to have a ceremony with an independent officiant (as opposed to your family rabbi, minister or priest), you’ll find that the choices of what to say and how to say it are dizzying. You can literally do almost anything you want (as long as you take a vow to each other and someone legal pronounces you married). You can include your favorite music, your friends and family, even your dog! Taking your ideas, your history and hopes for the future and blending all of that into a meaningful ceremony is a challenging task.

The person who takes that on has to have a blend of experience, curiosity, and enthusiasm. They need to be able to write your gorgeous story, perform it with style, and deal with all the spontaneous things that may happen along the way. (That would be fainting groomsmen, tantrum throwing flower girls and ring bearer dogs who eat the rings…..) They need to have the personality to charm everyone in the room at the same time that they are performing something very, very important. And they have to be legal.

To do this effectively, they have to know you, to think about you, to write about you, to collaborate with you. They need to spend time with you on the day, follow up afterwards and make sure you have all the information you need before, during and after the ceremony. That is time consuming; the average, hand written wedding takes more than ten hours, from the time you first call your potential officiant, through the interview, to the writing and editing and up to the mailing of your license. (Certified mail, please!)

You should feel that your officiant is truly your partner, and is not only willing, but enthusiastic about researching traditions that are important to your family, writing new rituals (I DO love my sushi sharing!) And you should never feel rushed, like you are ‘Wedding Number 12 on Weekend Number 6”. You should feel special, because your wedding IS special. Not just to you, but to the guests that you have invited to share the day.

You’ve planned every detail of your wedding to be personal, unique and inspiring! Picking the right officiant is another way to make that happen, exactly as you imagined it (or maybe even better).