We have the most amazing flowers here in Maui. God was really showing his most colorful, spectacular and bright side, when he created Hawaiian flowers. After 32 years of seeing them, I am still surprised and delighted at these vivid, diverse and fragrant creations.
As a wedding planner, I speak to brides almost every day, about flowers and am sometimes a bit disappointed about how many brides choose flowers they are used to seeing at weddings back home. I understand the human tendency to favor the familiar. However, choosing a Hawaiian wedding is already a great adventure and departure from the norm, so why not stick with that adventurous spirit?
Of course, a rose or white calla lily bouquet is pretty and adequate. However, why not be daring and opt for a tropical bouquet with astounding protea or tropical orchids? Not only do Hawaiian flowers befit your Hawaiian wedding, they are also practical. They grow here, so they are fresh and less expensive than imported flowers, and hold up better in the heat and sun. So, my advice is to pick Maui flowers for your Maui wedding. I predict, you will be pleased and your friends will be amazed at your wedding photographs filled with tropical colors.
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This is a direct plea to wedding guests, and the brides and grooms that invite them: Please don’t have everyone be a photographer (and/or videographer) during, at least, the ceremony portion of your wedding. It hampers the wedding and destroys the photography by the professional photographer you have hired. This situation is getting worse every day, to the point that sometimes every single guest is pointing a camera, even though a professional photographer is present, already doing the job, and doing it better than a non-pro could ever do.
I am not exaggerating. This is a typical scenario we see: “Dino & Desiree” have been working with us for nine months to create a beautiful Maui beach wedding with 20 guests. Finally, the great day arrives. The bride and groom look perfect in their wedding attire, standing in the lovely flower “Circle of Love.” A guitarist strums sweet Hawaiian music. It’s a gorgeous day in Maui. The photographer and videographer are in place. The minister begins the ceremony at the blowing of the conch shell, and all but two guests leap to their feet to take photos! The remaining two are the elderly grandparents – they take photos from their chairs.
This doesn’t look right, no guests, just wannabe photographers, running around, getting in the way of the processional, the aisleway and the professionals that the bride and groom had thoughtfully hired so that the guests could relax and enjoy the wedding. One cannot properly appreciate a wedding through the viewfinder of a camera. After the ceremony, when guests are supposed to be in an orderly receiving line, they are running amok, stumbling over each other, tripping the professional photographer, to capture precious moments on camera, instead of living them. The hired camera people can scarcely get an unobstructed photo of the bride and groom and precious greetings are clumsy and rushed. Then, the pros attempt to photograph group shots, but the guests have their own agenda, trying to arrange their own shots and, again, getting in the way.
Finally, the pro photographers try to lead Dino & Desiree to a secluded part of the beautiful Maui beach cove for some romance beach photography. But, the guests won’t take the hint, and follow, acting like paparazzi, refusing to grant privacy to their bride and groom. Later, in the studio, we view the results, which can be discouraging. So many photos are ruined by people holding cameras against their faces. It looks quite ludicrous. So many of the romance photos feature guest photographers who have leaped into the scene being photographed, even during the ceremony, pointing their cameras, completely unaware that they are in the backgrounds of the photos being taken.
Please, wedding guests, don’t be paparazzi, behave as guests. You can discreetly take some photos before and after the wedding. But, let the pros do their job and ask the bride and groom to send you prints or email images. You will see yourselves looking lovely and relaxed, instead of crouching with a camera in front of your face. The bride and groom will have a beautiful wedding and great professional photographs. If the bride and groom can’t afford professional photographers, assign one or two guests, only, to take photos. You will be glad you did.
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There is still time to plan a Christmas-time wedding. Why not escape the snow and ice and freezing rain and bring your love to warm, lovely Maui?
Maybe, you were planning a wedding next summer? But, here in Hawaii, you can enjoy summer all year round. Or, were you planning a winter wedding with furs and boots? Romantic, but how about a strapless cotton dress with your feet in the warm sand and your happy groom in an aloha shirt? Spend your honeymoon swimming in blue seas with the whales and your evenings dining and dancing under the stars.
If it sounds good, why not check it out? Give your honey a plane ticket for Christmas instead of an angora sweater. Call us at Merry Maui Weddings. We can arrange a very affordable holiday wedding with very little notice.
Bring some family or friends, if you wish, or maybe just each other for a very romantic, private wedding. We’ll have it videotaped for you and you can show it at your New Year’s eve reception back home. Think about it.
Usually, Christmas is the busiest time of year for tourism in Hawaii, but, because of the economic downturn, you should be able to find an inexpensive place to stay during this normally very busy time. So, what’s keeping you in the tundra? Come to the land of sunshine and blue waters in December.
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First of all, a disclaimer: I am very fond of all of our Maui brides and grooms and their families and friends that we have worked with, no matter what they did. With that said, I go on:
What is the Job of the Bridesmaid? Webster’s New Explorer defines a bridesmaid as “a woman who attends a bride at her wedding.” “Attends” suggests helpfulness and quiet support. She knows the wedding is all about the bride and groom, not her!
Prevalent in our culture, right now, we see another image of a bridesmaid, however. In recent movies and novels, bridesmaids are often competitive, sex crazed, drunken medusas whose main job is to upstage the bride and disrupt the wedding.
Well, that’s just fiction, you might say, and, in truth, most bridesmaids I have seen are kind, dignified, helpful and deeply caring of the bride and the success of her wedding. It’s the OTHER bridesmaids I address, here. Unfortunately, the bridesmaid behaving badly doesn’t inhabit fiction only. Some are real.
I have seen bridesmaids who seem determined to receive all the attention, at a wedding, by being more demanding, louder, and more provocatively attired than her fellow bridesmaids, or the bride. I heard a bridesmaid actually once say, “there’s now way I’m going to let her (the bride) look better than me.”
They argue about all aspects of the wedding, trying to assert their own will over even the bride’s and groom’s. They come too early and try to order the wedding professionals and family members around. They throw hissy fits when they don’t get their way. Or, they come late, and often drunk, so that their hair was perfect, or they are happily sloshed, therefore delaying or interrupting the wedding. This is bad.
One bridesmaid insisted on sobbing loudly throughout the entire wedding, so that the bride and groom and minister could barely be heard. She made herself the focus of the attention. Another bride disrupted and delayed the wedding by threatening loudly and vociferously to “throw the wedding flowers and cake in the garbage can and vomit on them,” because she felt they didn’t match HER dress properly. I’m not making this stuff up.
So, come on, bridesmaids, please behave yourselves. Support the bride, don’t compete with her. Don’t try to control the wedding or entice the groom. Your day is coming and you will want well behaved bridesmaids. And, just because you’re on Maui is not an excuse to be bad!
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A wedding is meant to be a celebration of love, but many weddings begin in an atmosphere of anxiety and tension. Something has gone wrong. The limo was late or the pink roses were too orangey or the breeze is scattering the petals all over the sand… something not perfect.
The groom and best man and I are awaiting the processional that will bring the bride to his side. He is smiling at first, but time is passing – no bride arrives. I glance at my watch – seven minutes late, not so bad. I regard the groom. He seems to be in a state of high anxiety. I say, “It’s okay, she will be here soon.” The groom shuffles his feet in the sand. Sweat is running down his face. He looks down and says, “She has been so nervous about this wedding. I can’t wait ‘til it’s over.”
His cellphone rings. He pulls it out of his pocket and looks at it as though it’s a man-eating tiger, about to pounce. “It’s her,” he says. “Answer it,” I say calmly. “Hey, babe…” he says in a squeaky, strained voice, “you comin’ down here? Okay, okay, see ‘ya soon.” He puts away the phone. “She’s coming. Her maid of honor forgot the ‘something borrowed’ garter in her hotel room. They’ll be right here.”
“Great,” I say. “Look at that gorgeous blue sky. “Yeah,” he mutters. “It’s been hard trying to get it all together.” He can’t see the sky. The conch blows. The harp player begins “Somewhere Over the Rainbow.” The bridal procession comes down the petal path and soon the bride is standing beside her groom. They look at each other, nervously. They try to smile and the ceremony begins. She doesn’t seem to realize it, but she is gorgeous.
After a few minutes, we get to the part where I say, “A marriage has moods and seasons.” They look at each other and one of them begins to laugh, then the other. The ice breaks. They clasp hands. They both realize they have already passed one of the tests of married love. Planning a wedding was stressful, probably much more than it needed to be. But, they made it. They saw each other’s dark side, but they’re saying “yes” to love!
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