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How many times have you been subjected to donning a questionable ensemble and made to parade in public? Unless you're a K-Mart model, you know I'm talking about bridesmaid dress hell. I personally have a couple gems in my closet as proof of past fashion missteps I've endured. Ah, the things we do for (people in) love. So, I say to you...
Don't traumatize your bridesmaids with horrendous outfits and bizarre styling requests.
Do find outfits that flatter various skin tones, shapes, sizes and styles.
Like a photo of a lovely waterfall taken just as a garbage truck rolls by - no subject of a picture looks good if the background is unattractive. Yes, it's your day to shine. But you want your wedding to be one big, pretty picture where everything works together as beautifully as possible.
If your favorite color combination happens to be something like hot pink and orange – which can be a very fun combination in certain situations - give a moment's thought as to how these colors will look on each of your besties. Not every skin tone or hair color looks great with every color outfit. If your girls can't carry such bright hues, perhaps black dresses could be an alternative choice. And using those bright colors in the bouquets will pop very nicely in front of black dresses! If black doesn't work for you, maybe neutrals. Or my favorite pseudo-neutral - a nice sage green, which goes with most any flower colors you could put in the bouquets. Also, beyond how the color palette you like works for the dresses, always consider how it will blend with the venue you have chosen as well.
Once you've decided on your color(s) think about the different body types your bridesmaids have in relation to the types of dresses they would be most comfortable wearing. Sometimes within a group of bridesmaids there can be very different heights and shapes - where one dress DOESN'T fit all. In this situation maybe allowing each to choose a different dress style, all in the same fabric and color, would be a more flattering approach.
And, don't overlook the accessories. Everyone has their own unique style, which makes the world an interesting place. But this is the one day when you nicely ask your bridesmaids to help you bring yours to life. Unmatched shoes can sometimes work for an informal garden wedding. But otherwise try to coordinate the group. The same goes for the jewelry – and earings or necklaces that compliment the outfits can be a lovely gift from you. Another thoughtful gesture would be to pay for their hair and make-up as well. Being a participant in a wedding can be expensive. And you want to express your gratitude to these important people contributing to your special day. So, keep that in mind when you are eying that fuchsia taffeta dress. Because love can be blind, but your bridesmaids aren't.
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Discussion of the recent economic downturn is pervasive. You hear about it on the radio and TV. You read about it in newspapers, magazines and on the Internet. It has, to whatever degree, affected everyone. So needless to say, the very first word out of every bride's mouth is BUDGET. Different aspects of weddings have different meanings and values for different people. Where the food may be important to one bride, the band is more important to another. Most of the time people have ideas of budgets for various aspects of their event in the back of their mind. Now it's in the forefront! So the trick is in laying out your budget to fit what's most important to you while being even handed in planning the overall event. In other words...
Don't blow your budget on your dress and then skimp on everything else.
Do set a realistic budget before you purchase/book anything.
Don't expect vendors to cut their prices because you spent $5000 on your dress. This goes across the board. If you booked the most lavish, expensive hotel, don't cut every other corner or the event will feel obviously cheapened. And I caution people to not make decisions based solely on the cost of something if possible. There are ways to scale back without settling for something second rate. Lay out your budget and expect that some things will cost a little more, but not so much that you'll end up being entertained by Uncle Fred's boom box at the Ritz.
Be realistic. If you can't afford a splashy evening affair at the grandest ballroom in town, a lovely cocktail party at an interesting venue like an art gallery might be more appropriate for you. Or perhaps something that reflects an important aspect of you and your fiancé's life. If you are foodies, maybe an intimate dinner in the private room of one of your favorite restaurants would be the thing. If you are outdoorsy types, why not a party at an arboretum? But remember to always have indoor contingency plans for any outdoor event in case of inclement weather!
If you do book the ballroom, perhaps have your ceremony there as well. This will cut the cost of the ceremony site and the need for special transportation ie. limousines, trolleys, horse drawn carriages, etc. And again, scaling back from a full sit down dinner to an elegant cocktail reception might be a better plan. Just remember to be clear on your invitations, so guests know what to expect. I have a friend who was more than a little miffed when - having spent money on airfare, a hotel stay, car rental and a nice gift - was offered only cake, grape Kool-Aid (the bride and groom thought it would be humorous apparently) and tepid Sanka at the reception.
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An updated historical home or mansion is a popular venue for weddings and special events. You have the charm of old architecture, often with beautiful grounds, enhanced with current day amenities. To accommodate larger parties there is usually either an existing ballroom or a completely new addition. Sometimes this larger meeting area can be as simple as a tent over a patio, which can be really lovely when the weather is pleasant. Just remember to have on hold a company to set up any necessary portable A/C or heating units!
Unfortunately, in some venues the transition from old architecture to new is not so seamless and can create some decorating angst. But decorated thoughtfully the transition can be less noticeable. You can either choose one viewpoint and run with it or exaggerate differences for an interesting juxtaposition. Whichever path you choose I say commit fully! In other words...
Don't be inconsistent even in an inconsistent site.
Do be consistent in seemingly (but not) inconsistent ways.
Say that five times fast! As visually jarring as it is when there is no connection between architectural styles, the same can be said about the decorating. The key is a thread of continuity throughout your event. If you decide on a classic/modern theme, perhaps linking the two concepts by using the same colors throughout, or the same flowers – just presented in dramatically different ways. Or introduce other decorative elements, like the same linens throughout, to support the idea of it all still being one party. And don't be afraid to push the envelope. You want the differences to be bold and apparent, not wishy-washy and questioned.
Recently we decorated a site that is successful in its integration of old and new,
The Manor House at Commonwealth. It is an 18th century stone farmhouse where the ballroom was added just a few years ago. It is situated next to the Commonwealth National Golf Club. So there are wonderful views of the course, particularly from the attractive veranda, which is right off the ballroom. The veranda is also a nice spot for some of your less mobile guests to look down upon your wedding, if you choose the bordered lawn below for your ceremony site.

The Bride asked us to decorate in a clean, classic style with bold reds. Since the Manor House is decorated in a fairly neutral palette this was not a problem at all. Always remember to consider how the color palette you are inclined to will work in the venue you choose.

I worked with another bride who loved the combination of hot pink and turquoise. This can be a really rich and pleasing combination, but not when your venue has light yellow walls and red carpets and Royal blue accents! Luckily, she heeded my advice and was very happy with the decoration of white flowers with hot pink accents, like the chair cushions, in some areas and full throttle hot pink in other areas where it could work. Turquoise made no appearance at the party and I believe everyone was better for it.
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My father passed away a couple weeks ago. And how does that relate to weddings? Death, like marriage, is one of those pivotal moments in your life. And like a wedding, it is a time when people come together not just physically, sometimes from great distances, but emotionally as well. It's when you experience great change, reflect on wonderful memories and engage in various rituals. It's hopefully when everyone involved in the planning will readily work together effectively and selflessly. And it is a time to be truly grateful for the family and friends still in your life. In other words...
Don't forget how very special your family, soon to be family and friends are.
Do take a moment to let them know how important they are to you.
Planning any event can be a stressful time for many reasons. There are budget constraints, taste differences, logistical problems. There seems to be a never ending list of decisions to make and each one affects all the others. In spite of all this try to keep your perspective and your poise. Even though presently your wedding is your main priority, one day it will be behind you. And afterwards what will remain are the people around you - and more specifically with regards to a wedding, your fiancé!
And when your day finally does arrive I always tell my brides - let go of any and all worries. You've worked hard to prepare and have hired vendors to carry out all the various functions of your party. Let them do their jobs. Relax. It's time for you to enjoy your day! Enjoy the festivities (even if there are any missteps with the plans no one but you will notice). Enjoy seeing those important people in your life all together to celebrate with you. And most importantly, be happy that you are marrying the person you love most!
But, while we're on the subject – it's very difficult for brides and grooms who have lost someone close to them before their wedding. It is saddening that that person will not be able to attend such an important event in their lives. So sometimes it is helpful to incorporate a little remembrance within the celebration. It could be as subtle as a significant flower included in the bride's bouquet. Or perhaps a picture in a locket tied around the stems of the bouquet. Once we hid a loved one's handkerchief under the ribbon wrapping the bouquet, a sweet, sentimental touch that only the bride knew about. Maybe setting a special table or a mantle with pictures decorated with flowers and candles would be a nice homage. Or even just simply some heartfelt words at a key moment. Whatever feels right to you is the best remembrance.

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When the weather turns warmer thus begins the season of “outdoor” weddings. Outdoor locations can range from a beach to a private veranda to a public park and can be as informal or as dressy as indoor events. Sometimes Mother Nature will allow for the most enchanted of evenings under the stars. But more oft than not the romanticized idea of the perfect outdoor event is impeded with rain, mud, soaring (or plummeting) temperatures and flying, biting pests. But don't fear, there are precautions you can take to still insure (perhaps with a little humor) an enjoyable time for all. So in other words...
Don't fail to plan for inclement weather when having an outside event.
Do go ahead with an outside event if your heart is set on it, you just might get lucky!
Firstly, have a reputable tent company on hold to tent outside areas where possible in case of inclement weather. If you do have to tent hopefully the weather will permit that the sides of the tent can be open to view the surrounding grounds, which is wonderful decoration! And tents CAN be enhanced to look very pretty. I had a bride ask me about this recently.
“I am completely lost when it comes to decorating the tent. The look we are going for is classic and clean, but with a fun party twist...Do you have any advice as to how to decorate the tent so it doesn't look under or overdone in a cost effective way?”
Tents do need a little embellishment to hide tent mechanics. If you're keeping an eye on expenses, focus on the key areas of the tent - the center poles (you could decorate every pole along the perimeter too, but that gets costly) and perhaps the entrances and around any food stations, the bar and Band or DJ.
For the poles, they can be wrapped in fabric or Tulle. We also often add greens or garland, but that can be a budget breaker. Sometimes (if logistics and arrangement size and shape permit) the aisle flowers from the ceremony can be tied on either side of the upper part of the poles (where the supports connect). That adds a nice touch with or without the fabric wrapping. I also like to put a couple ferns around the bases of the poles too, to visually soften the area and to lessen the chances of someone tripping over them as well. If you want to get a little fancier trees (perhaps with string lights) and additional plants grouped around the poles make a nice visual link to the outdoor surroundings too.
Another idea to consider if your event goes into the evening, is incorporating paper lanterns with electric lights (because it's not festive to have a tent fire on your big day!) They come in lots of shapes, sizes and colors and afterwards you will have a nice collection for future parties. Also, we've put multiples of luminaries outside of tents either along borders of pathways or just sprinkled across a lawn.
But as lovely as your event may look keep in mind the comfort of your guests as well. Along with the tent you should have a portable A/C or heater on stand by too. A few years ago there was a wedding held in early September (usually a nice time of year weather-wise in this region) at a family home. There was a lovely old stone house with beautiful grounds that had been extensively redone for the wedding. They had a tent set up, but against my suggestion, they did not have a heater on stand by. Unfortunately, all the efforts for a spectacular setting were ruined by drizzly, damp weather. With no heater the guests were uncomfortable and it did put a pall over the event. Supposedly bad weather on the wedding day means there will be a good marriage. But I'd still like to have a good party too!

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