Everything You Want to Know About the Maid of Honor

You see the maid of honor standing next to the bride in all those wedding pictures. She can be seen holding the bride's bouquet and walking confidently down the aisle (usually arm in arm with the best man). But what else does the maid of honor do? Is she just an elevated bridesmaid or does she have more responsibilities? Here's what you need to know about this lovely bridal lady.

What are her primary responsibilities?

The maid of honor's number one priority, similar to the bridesmaids but more so, is to be supportive of and help the bride. Usually a close friend or family member, the maid of honor is there when the bride is stressing out, needs someone to shop for wedding flowers or cakes with or just simply needs a friend. Besides that, the maid of honor will sometimes give a speech at the wedding or rehearsal dinner. She holds the bride's bouquet during the ceremony, supervises the bridesmaids and flowergirls and often plans the bachelorette party and bridal shower (with help from the bridesmaids and/or mother of the bride).

Does the maid of honor always give a speech?

The best man traditionally gives a toast at the wedding, but more and more often the maid of honor gives a speech as well. Do you have to do this? Of course not. It's up to you, the bride, upon consultation with the maid of honor, to decide whether or not you'd like to have her give a speech. The advantage of having the maid of honor give a speech is that she tends to focus more on the bride, while the best man has more to say about the groom.

What makes her different from the other bridesmaids?

Depending on your situation, the maid of honor is usually your closest friend or sister. She is in many ways "in charge" of the bridesmaids and takes the lead in organizing everyone for the ceremony and the pre-wedding events (like the bridal shower). While the maid of honor takes the greater responsibility, it's still important for the other bridesmaids to do their fair share.

What if the "maid of honor" is married? What if the bride's best friend is a man?

Proper etiquette states that a married maid of honor technically takes the title of matron of honor. In my experience, however, the title matron of honor makes certain married gals feel old! I recommend using whichever title makes you both happiest! And if the bride's best friend is a man, there are a few options. He could be a groomsmen and the unofficial maid of honor. Or he could just be your "maid of honor" in title, wear a tuxedo or suit, and stand on your side during the ceremony. There are many options.

Can you have more than one maid of honor?

Why not? You could have both a maid of honor and a matron of honor. You could have two co-maids of honor. You could have a maid of honor, matron of honor and man of honor. It's entirely up to you. It's your wedding after all!

Does she wear a different dress from the rest of the bridesmaids?

This is, again, up to you. Many times the maid of honor wears the same bridesmaid dress. Sometimes she wears something completely different. One option I rather like is for the maid of honor to wear the opposite dress. So if the bridesmaid dress is pink with a blue sash and trim, the maid of honor wears a blue dress with pink sash and trim. This makes her stand out, but still coordinate with the rest of the wedding party.

Are you expected to pay for the maid of honor's dress?

In general, no. It is the maid of honor's responsibility to pay for her own dress. It's part of what she is agreeing to when she accepts your offer to be in the wedding. On the other hand, if you decide to go with a particularly expensive dress (because it's just the perfect one!), you might consider offering to pay for part or all of the dress.