Planning your Wedding Ceremony

Your wedding is like a stage play. You are the stars and your guests are the audience. You, the Officiant and your wedding party are the cast. You have a production crew, a budget, a timeline, script, costumes, props, a set, lighting, make-up, camera work, a rehearsal and a final performance.

Include a detailed map with your wedding invitations and a contact phone number for the day of the Ceremony. If your Ceremony is to begin at noon, invite your guests for 11:45am. If your invitation says 12:00 noon, most guests will not start arriving until just prior to noon or after and this will delay your Ceremony. With delays you will have a chain reaction of other delays such as your catering service. And if your vendors have another wedding to work after yours, delays will cause them to cut short their time at your Ceremony.

If you are having your wedding outdoors in the summer, take into consideration how brutal the sun can be. If your guests will be mingling, make sure there is a shaded area for them. If possible, make refreshments available. Standing can be miserable for older people and for women in high heels. If your there are no chairs or bathrooms, don't make your guests wait too long for your Ceremony to begin.

Have your paperwork completed and checks written or cash for your vendors in advance. On the day of your Ceremony, it is best if you designate a friend to manage money and attend to details. The Best Man is usually best for this. Make sure money and paperwork is handled before the Ceremony begins. Afterwards, you will be too elated and busy socializing with your guests.

Your marriage license comes in an envelope pre-addressed to the county recorder's office. Inside the envelope you will find a form for requesting a certified copy of your license. I recommend that you get at least two certified copies. There are many cases which you may be required to provide proof of your marriage, such as changing the Brides name on her passport or drivers license when you renew them or proving you are married in order to be included on your spouse's health insurance and many other instances. Fill out the forms in advance and bring them to the Ceremony in the envelope with the license. Enclose a check made out to the county clerk for the amount of each certified copy you desire. Enclose the Officiates fee in the same envelope. The Officiant mails it to the county and it can take from four to six weeks to receive your certified copy(ies). I have my couples take care of their Marriage License paperwork and my fee at their rehearsal. That way I don't have to hassle them after the Ceremony when their families, guests, photographer and their wedding party want all their attention.

Your wedding coordinator or a designated friend should act as a coordinator between the Ceremony setting and the Bride's quarters. It is important that the Officiant, the musicians and others involved know the exact moment when the Ceremony procession is to begin and when the Bride is to enter. Your Officiant should coordinate most of this for you. Rehearsals are a good idea if you have more than four people in your wedding party. Delegate responsibility! The Groom and his party should greet people as they arrive and seat them when it is time to begin your Ceremony.

As to seating: The age old tradition of the Bride upfront on the left with her family seated on the left and visa versa for the Groom is a terrible tradition. What does the Brides or Grooms family get to see - the side or back of your head! It is much nicer and loving for the Brides family to be seated on the right side so they can see their daughter etc., and share in her emotions and be able to take great pictures along with the Grooms family seated on what we take for granted is the Brides side.

You should face each other during the Ceremony. This makes a much more enjoyable Ceremony for your guests who can then see all the apparel, flowers and share in the emotions on your faces and your photographer will get better photographs.

During the Ceremony spend very little time looking at the Officiant, look at each other. Don't be formal or stiff, be touchy and feely. After you are pronounced husband and wife and kiss, turn and face your guests and stay put for ten seconds with your wedding party tightening up to you for your photographer and guests to get great straight on pictures full of smiles.

If you are going to recite any lines during the Ceremony, rehearse them. Practice your vows to one another out loud. This is also true for any readings, poems or passages that may be given by you, a relative or friend. Make sure your Officiant and readers have a microphone, if needed.If there are any scriptural passages, blessings or cultural rituals you would like to incorporate in your Ceremony, they should be included because you want them included and not because of what someone else wants. After all, it is YOUR Ceremony.