Wedding Planning - 10 Rules to Preserve your Sanity

You are a bride to be.  You are planning your special day.  You can now indulge your every whim, right?  Not so fast!!!  It is most definately your moment to reign supreme, but maintaining your perspective will make the entire planning process more fun and less mentally exhausting.

We suggest the following 10 simple rules to preserve your sanity -

1.   I can live without the three-color origami letterpress invitations

As you've discovered just by surfing the net, there's a big world of amazing, over-the-top wedding options from caviar tastings to three-color origami letterpress invitations.   Most can be jaw dropping piggy bank breaking expensive.  If you find that you're being attracted to things that will have your budget bursting at the seams, it's time for a reality check.

Ask yourself- What will those expensive obsessions truly add to my wedding? If the answer is just "impressed glances from a half dozen in-the-know female guests," then you are better off spending that much needed cash on something more people will appreciate.  A killer band maybe?  Splurge more on your honeymoon?  Make a wish list and keep your budget in check.  Do not impulse buy.

2.   I will not make my bridesmaids look like clones.

Every good friend knows that along with the honor of being a bridesmaid comes the obligation to wear a dress in a color and style that may not be her first choice.   Your friends accept that, but it doesn't mean they will be overjoyed if you force them to wear identical shoes, jewelry, and hairstyles.

In order to have a great time at your wedding, your bridesmaids need to feel attractive too.  This will be impossible if you've micromanaged their looks down to the eyeshadow hue.  Buying a ton of matching accessories they may never wear again could get very expensive.  Your bridesmaids will look even better if you give them the freedom to let their individual styles shine through the mimosa chiffon gowns you've dressed them in.  So let them choose their hair and makeup styles and give them more than one option with accessories like shoes, jewelry, and cover-ups.

3.   I will not invite my third cousin twice removed's new fling.

When you're putting your list together you may feel a spirit of irrationally warm hospitality take over, making you inclined to invite all of your single guests' partners/hookups-of-the-moment.  We know what you're thinking- "What if they get married one day? I'll feel terrible if my cousin by marriage wasn't at our wedding."

Remember, aside from the significant expense of inviting every single person with a date, you don't want to celebrate the most important event of your life with a bunch of people you'll likely never see again.  Trust me, if you invite cousin Bob's arm candy, she'll somehow wind up front and center in half of the photographs, but he'll dump her before you return from your honeymoon.  You won't remember her name in a year and he may not either.  So make a rule about unmarried couples.  Maybe it's only couples who've been dating for more than a year or only members of the wedding party get to invite random dates, and then stick to it.

4.   I won't obsess over my registry.

Once you delve into the world of fine stemware, charger plates, and exotic kitchen gadgets, it's only natural that you'll become obsessed with it.  You will start second and third guessing every registry decision.  Online options make it all too easy to review and revise what you've asked for at every whim.  Give yourself a deadline after which you're not allowed to edit your registry, maybe six months before the wedding, so you can stop fixating on gifts and start obsessing over seating charts instead!

5.   I'll loosen up about the rehearsal dinner and have fun.

As a bride, it's pretty much your born right to micromanage every aspect of the wedding if you choose to. The rehearsal dinner, not so much. If you're lucky enough to have the night before celebration thrown for you by the groom's family or somebody similar, everything will go most smoothly if you offer your input only when asked and on a few issues that are super-important to you.

If your future mother-in-law sends out invitations you find annoyingly tacky or fills the centerpieces with your least favorite flower, keep in mind that everybody in attendance will understand that the rehearsal isn't reflective of your style. 

6.   I will write Thank You notes as gifts come in.

You are busy, but you can always carve out 5 minutes from your schedule to write a thank you note. Place your stationery box and a big sheet of stamps in the center of your desk and sit down to express your gratitude within two days of a gift coming in.

If you wait your thank you list will quickly grow to a overwhelming length, and it will become more intimidating to tackle it. And if you let too much time pass before writing your notes the gift giver might wonder if you received the present.

7.  I will not freak out about his Bachelor party.

What happens on his night is totally out of your control and not for you to know or ever find out.   Don't obsess about it.  He wouldn't be marrying you if he preferred being surrounded by 10 intoxicated buddies and expensive entertainment named Bambi.

8. I won't have unrealistic weight expectations.

Choose a dress you look gorgeous in at your regular weight.  As difficult as this may sound, you're likely to shed a couple of pounds in the weeks before the wedding due to a packed schedule and nerves, but consider that as a bonus.

Don't strive to lose any more than that at the last minute.  Crash dieting will make you exhausted, irritable and witchy.  No number on the scale will compensate if you're too weak to handle the demands and savor the excitement of your wedding celebrations.

9.  I will not let "Negative Nellies" dampen my enthusiasm.

As you already know, there are people out there who seem determined to make you feel bad about your wedding planning excitement.  Maybe they're single and jealous, or not-so-happily married and bitter, or just the types who can't bear to witness other people's joy without trying to chip away at it.  It can be hard to identify these people because their negativity can often be passive-aggressive and is often backhanded and disguised as advice.   Kind of like asking you lots of questions about your wedding day details only to teasingly call you "Bridezilla" when you answer.

Once you've noticed that discussing your plans with certain people leaves you feeling defensive or deflated, cross them off your list of conversation partners. You have plenty of others in your life who are genuinely excited for you and eager to hear about every aspect of the planning process.

10.  I will make my wedding album within one year of my honeymoon.

When you come back from your honeymoon putting wedding album together may seem like a daunting task.  After months of wedding related decisions you may decide to take a break from it all.  Not to mention the fact that a nice album isn't cheap.  It will be tempting to wait until your funds have been replenished before splurging on it.  But as many of your married friends who had similar plans will tell you, the years go by quickly.  It is too easy to wind up with nothing but collection of memory cards and photo packets on your fifth anniversary. So bite the bullet and order your album while the memories are fresh and you still have a little wedding planning momentum driving you forward.